naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
My ass is underappreciated
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
I admit I fucked your best friend, but to be fair, you fucked the tristate area. So there's a good chance about 40% of those people are MY friends.
Randomize
