You just kept yelling "SATAN!" at me every time I walked by
I came out of bedroom with my jeans on backwards, zipped AND buttoned. I have inconceivable talents whilst intoxicated.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
I think im gonna have to stop sexting on the metra. The middle aged businessman behind me just leaned over and whispered 'dirty girl' and highfived his seatmate.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
i DID try to find you last night. i asked where you were and you texted me the letter "e" and a picture of the dark.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
Sorry I told all the other bridesmaids you were an asshole. I had had a few drinks and it's how I felt at the time.
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
