Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I'm going to have to take an awkward trip to the front desk to ask them if they found a pair of turquoise shorts and an "I'm the Mom" sweatshirt.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
