One minute shes telling me about her volunteer work then she whips out a 12 inch dildo
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
last night we were having sex and i didn't care if i got off. i was just holding up my hand behind his head so i could look at my new ring. i think he knew.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
Randomize
