Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
girl in the front row yawned. double jointed jaw. i know where i'll be sitting next class
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I'm still trying to figure out how you came back with chinese food, and a spoon covered in icing saying 'cake..'
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I just puked behind a tree outside work, then walked past my manager with puke in my hair. Man, I'm gonna miss this when I get a real job.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
