I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
you can't exactly throw up or pass out at the pentagon so i had to pull my shit together
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
So am I a slut for not remembering his name after sex last night or not recognizing him in the cafe today after he told me who he was?
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
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