We need to have an Itty-Bitty Titty Committee mtg somewhere in the range of 5 minutes to ASAP.
ParTy fuckkin suckkkks bro I gotta fid sum biTch 2 leT me fire sum loadz on her FACE!
?
Nah, but can you imagine if I were seriously like that?
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
He ended our Skype call with, "I'm going to poop and then go play my ukulele in the park."
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
I don't think people appreciate how hard it is to fuck in a portapotty. Sarah and I had train for that shit.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
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