i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Randomize
