I got chris browned last night
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
we made out inside of a kiddie slide for about 20 mins. it was the sexiest, most suffocating experience I've ever had
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Randomize
