I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
You were yelling at the cops across the street saying they were at the wrong party
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
i sent him a picture of his friend's dick and told him he should really stop thinking he's my only option.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
Your penis caused this!
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
Randomize
