Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
My kindergarten teacher served me... All coming full circle
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
I'm bleeding and have questions
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