new low.... made out with someone while peeing
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Why do I feel like I'm not the only one drinking to make my night class teacher look better?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
If there was a category for "most likely to end up a serial killer" in your high school yearbook then I'm sure you would have won it
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
Randomize
