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Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
This is the high leading the old right now
This is three metal detector wands away from being the strangest porn I have ever been in the audience for.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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