ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
She set fire to my carpet trying to power-dry puke covered cigs with Josh's blowtorch. How she found it in the garage is beyond me but if you bring her with you again I'll shoot you myself.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I think I'm just going to get a farm, a vibrater, and a lot of wine.
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
