I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Is it illegal to masterbate in an airport?
It's spring break, I'm sure it's ok.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Check the bible. I hear he keeps his weed in leviticus.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
When did angry sex become our thing?
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
They are like untrained puppies reaking havoc on a newly furnished house. Out of control.
You just compared our vaginas to a newly furnished house...I can dig it.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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