I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
Careful, it's a slippery slope to discovering you're bisexual...trust me.
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
the bandages come off on Tuesday. we can try out my new breasts then.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
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