I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Today a TA in one of my classes told me he thought I was 35 and going back to school as an adult learner. Alcohol is working me.
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Randomize
