Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I seriously think I have a tan line on my stomach from getting a boner while in the taning bed.
i was picked up off the floor by a stripper, if thats not a new life low then i dont know what is.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Pretty sure my body is in shock, I shouldn't feel this ok after last nite.
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I was told I look like trouble once and that was by a fireman at the sex show. I was carrying two beers and a penis pinata.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
