I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Omg there's puke under my pillow. Clearly I puked and tried to hide it. From myself. \n
we live vicariously through your huge boobs
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Very interesting. Let's just say I got home last night and threw up, found a joint in my bra, and woke up naked in my bed
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
Randomize
