doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
..well, okay, so long as I don't have to wear an apron or vaccum in high heels.
nope just do me i'm drunk and easy to plz
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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