I want to have your abortion
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
