a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
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