I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
You know whats sad? As I walk past the campus daycare i cant help think, look at those drunk mistakes
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
