she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
Can you please check on Jay? He just called and left a Backstreet Boys song on my voicemail. Either it's 1998, or someone needs to go back to rehab.
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
Part of me really wants this picture, but the other part of me knows if he is really this drunk, he could be sodomizing a lamp and not know it
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
In my dream I had to eat so many peanut butter and Nutella sandwiches
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
Randomize
