Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
What are your plans?
Get picked up. Convince you to leave work. Smoke. Drink. Fly helicopters.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
SHE BROUGHT HER PARROT TO THE PARTY. IT SQUAWKS EVERY TIME SOMEONE VOMITS LIKE 'PARTY FOUL SQUAWKKKKKK'
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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