They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
After the 3rd time his brother walked in on us I asked "Does he ever knock?" his reply "This is his room"... Turns out he didn't even live there... I feel like a hoe.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
He called my vagina "the man cave", and I found it charming
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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