kristin has been a bad kristin
Last night I had a dream we played Uno and had sex. You won at Uno, but you lost at sex.
i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Randomize