at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
just fed a duck at the lake a weed brownie. it hasnt moved in 20 minutes.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Why is there a school picture of an 8 year old boy in my pocket...?
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize
