how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
On a scale of zero to "unmitigated disaster," how drunk is he?
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
