So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I know I know. I considered playing it sober but after I typed out IS SHE A GENIE? I knew it was impossible to hide.
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
Do you know why I slept in the yard last night?
You said you watched the lion king stoned and had to do it for simba.
Pride rock will get you every time.
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
