stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
Is that you who's passed out on my treadmill?
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Your grandma changed her Netflix password :(
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