You can't motorboat a personality
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Dude, she got "I party too much" skinny. She looks like a recovering drug addict.
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
