Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
I drunkenly recorded an episode of Family Matters last night. I took a shot everytime Carl Winslow had a mustache.
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
I'm bringing pajamas, aspirin, morning after clothes and morning after pill
Well, if I’m not getting dick or sleep then I’m not interested.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
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