um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Consider yourself lucky. If I ever run into my ex, all I'll be able to think is, "I let you pee on me and lead me around on a leash."
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
