what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
just so you're aware of it in the morning: you tried to slide down the railing on a snuggie. twice.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Got a 72 hour restraining order. Can we meet monday? Let me know!
All I can think about are the cheese it's on my desk at work this morning. Like are those apologetic cheese it's or does he seriously think he still has a shot..
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
That's good. So do you know why there is a giant pile of old tires in the laundry room and kitchen?
Well we knew you needed some tires, found someone on the way home who was giving them away and took them all. Has to be 4 in there you can use.
Randomize
