I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
