everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
Like not in a "I wanna have sex with you way" more like a "I wanna cuddle your mustache way"
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
Randomize
