I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
I just sustained a forearm injury dancing to salt n peppa in my kitchen. Fack. I pushed it real good.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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