I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Don't Richard Nixon her vagina
I explained to him that me turning straight is a once a year thing. And this boy just happens to be the chosen one.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Damn that sucks I haven't needed pants the whole time i've been here
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