shouldn't i get a discount if shes pregnant?
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
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