We are surrounded by old people. Heavens waiting room for sure.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
At the party. I feel like I just walked into a lifesize blunt.
I'm getting to the point of going up to a guy and saying "Hi I'm maggie and i can put my foot behind my head"... That desperate.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Randomize
