How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Randomize
