Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
i thought they made a 7-hour walmart run, but they were actually in jail.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
Double check your contract and see if it says anything about sleeping with your manager
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
So I wore my ankle step-counter exercise thingy while I rode him. Don't fuck him- I only burned .2 pounds.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
