I remember having a drink with vegetables in it. They said it was a mojito, but it tasted like cabbage.
haha i love mojitos
ya and i hate cabbage
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
you dont understand this isnt a sit at a sports bar eating wings and having a beer night. this is a show up to the bar with a fith of Jack and just let what happens happen kinda night. im expecting to smack a bouncer
Ok let me change into clothes i can run in
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
