I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
Nothing like a Mormon bachlorette party to make you feel slutty
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
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