By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
Tonight just try not to threaten to pee on the hot guys buying us drinks....please..
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
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