Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
Just bought purple Ray Bans. If there was any small chance that I would ever have sex with women ever again, I just buried it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
Oh and probably wearing a life jacket instead of clothes didn't help things either
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
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