please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
Found him fucking some random drunk chick in the bathrrom at the blue lep with a beer in each hand. had to give him props.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
He will. He has no choice. What's he gonna do? Find a better fuck buddy? We both know that's not possible. I'm the ideal friend with benefit. Minus snoring and uneven tits.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
