Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
It was laundry day and I was wearing last xmas undies. he took one look and went...you's a ho, ho, ho. my response you ask? for less dough, dough, dough. I'm a slut.
with a sacreligious after taste.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
i think im the only person who makes thank you cards for their drug dealer
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
