He is an equal opportunity slut.
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i love beer. I convinced myself that I'm going to ace the exam tomorrow. I can't even do that when I actually study.
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
I feel like i'm walking on a never-ending field of baby sheep.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
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