Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
I'm gonna make a mold of your dick so I can make popsicles
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
